Happy Holidays everyone! I hope you’ve been able to celebrate with your family in whatever way you choose. I’ve certainly been blessed with wonderful celebrations! So very grateful for my amazing family… Just hard to believe it’s been a whole year since we were doing this last!

So I know I’ve totally neglected the blog the past few weeks… Honestly it’s just been such a giant blur it really doesn’t feel like I’ve missed the past 3 weeks. So I’ll rewind… Last update was the day I had an LP and we raced the weather home. Well Mother Nature was most definitely NOT kidding around this time!! We were truly iced in from Thursday afternoon until Sunday afternoon, and the driving was still a bit dicey through Wednesday. Suffice to say, I can take a hint, and Icepocalypse 2013 was actually the best thing for me at that point – I was forced to take it easy and not push myself. I did a whole lot of resting and recovering and went back to work Monday 110% better than the previous Monday!

I saw my neuro-ophthalmologist the following Wednesday and he confirmed the explanation for everything that had been going on, and we came up with a plan moving forward – I’ll be following up more closely with him for a bit, but thankfully I feel a thousand times better and was able to enjoy the last few weeks of holiday festivities!

As for actual post op healing, doing great in that regard as well! Had a rogue dissolvable stitch on the left side as well, but everything has healed beautifully. The “fluff and drop” phenomenon is legitimate and it’s amazing how the size and shape of the implants changes week to week as they settle. It was premature due to the enticement of the Victoria’s Secret sale, but bra shopping has been a bit interesting – unlike natural breasts, these gummies do what they want! Meaning the bra has to fit them and not vice versa. So I admitted defeat and that will be an event for the new year. I’m really coming around to the thought of wearing sports bras of various strap styles most days and only wearing real bras with outfits that need the strap situation. It’s just more comfortable! But we’ll see what I can find in the next couple months.

But yes, doing great! Just need a little help with lifting until I hit the 6 week post op mark, but that’s really it. Range of motion is great and fat grafting bruising is all but gone. It’s hard to believe it’s only been a little over a month! With the craziness these weeks have been, it really seems like longer! But I’ll take it.

Well that’s the latest… Nothing too earth shattering or exciting to report, just the way I like it! More soon… Enjoy the holidays!!

Wow, how two weeks flies!! I had my post-op visit with Dr. Teotia, my wonderful plastic surgeon, today. Thankfully they were able to get us in early so we made it out before this crazy weather hits (they say it’s for real this time, and based on the speed of the temperature dropping, it’s looking unfortunately reminiscent of the infamous Super Bowl storm!)

Everything looks absolutely fantastic and we had a great visit with him and his wonderful nurse. So much so, at the end he sent in others to admire his “art!” I was happy to show off – that’s got to be the biggest proof of success right there!!

I had one stitch popping out on my right breast incision that my nurse snipped off, and she went ahead and took out the other sutures and all the tape! I didn’t think that stuff would ever come off so that was a relief – they all look awesome and I got a handful of adhesive remover to get them cleaned up before I shower tomorrow. The fat grafting sites, both where it was taken and where it was injected, look awesome. Bruising was pretty fierce, especially on my thighs and upper abdomen, but is much improved, and the soreness is getting better every day. It will be interesting to see how much of it stays, which only time will tell. Hopefully it all will – I couldn’t be happier with how they look! There’s always the option of doing it again, but I’d really rather not have to do that! We all agreed that we’re glad we did the two expansions and did 640cc implants… At one point we had kind of toyed with the idea of 580 cc’s, but I’m so glad we didn’t. This model of implant (Natrelle 410/teardrop gummy bear) is very wide so they fit my build really well, and the size is exactly what I wanted – I did a photo collage of pre and post op next to each other, and it’s incredible – they look so much like my original boobs, just fuller and with more projection, but still amazingly natural. I’m just amazed, both to be at this point, and the incredible results!

I was also cleared to wear a real bra!! It’s been months since I’ve done that! I also got the fabulous news that I should never wear an underwire again… I’m remarkably okay with that! The reasoning being that the implants are plenty perky on their own, they just need some elastic support, and the skin will always be a little more fragile, so the rubbing of the wire would be no bueno. I’ll still wear a sports bra at night to keep them on place since we had issues with that left side moving, but the Strattice/pig skin is definitely doing it’s job – no more sliding around! My nurse also mentioned to wait a couple months before buying any expensive bras, that the implants have a lot of settling to do and my bra size may very well change in the next couple months. So bras for a birthday present to myself it is!! I’ll probably get some Target ones next week just so I can wear all the shirts I have that don’t play nice with sports bra straps! And mentally for the sake of being doneeee!!! 🙂

I’m cleared to start slowly increasing my activity, just not to go crazy with lifting, and to listen to my body and stop if I have any pec discomfort. The New Year will be the 6 week mark when I think I’ll definitely feel confident that I’m recovered, so I’m kind of laying low till then, both to be cautious and because there’s just so much chaos with the holidays! My goal is to have total, complete range of motion back by then however… I’d say I’m about 95% there now… Just a little bit of tightness with “snow angel” movements. So that’s a great goal, I think. And lastly I was cleared to… Sleep on my stomach!! Woohoo!! Really it was “sleep however you want!” but this former belly sleeper is ecstatic! It’s the little things…

I had a few other random questions that were answered… With “old” silicone implants you used to have to have MRIs every few years to check for a silent rupture. There’s mixed opinions on the interwebs about whether this applies to the gummy bears, and I was glad to get the definitive “not needed.” I will follow up with Dr. T for awhile to monitor them, but the big thing they look for is capsular contraction. Thankfully because I did so well with the expanders, the risk of that happening is low. So really the follow up after all of this is with plastic surgery, and then yearly with my breast surgeon for an exam (no imaging with that either – woohoo!)  Other things that will be addressed in the future, once I’m all healed from this surgery, is some scar reduction from some small marks that were left from a pesky drain (I know that explanation likely makes no sense, but I can’t come up with a better way to explain it), watching for rippling (there’s a little bit on my right side when I do a lot of contorting, but really not bad – just something to watch), and perhaps we’ll discuss a bit of nipple tattooing. I don’t know that I lost pigment versus they’re just a totally different shape/projection than before and therefore it’s noticeable, but it’s something I may consider. We’ll see… It’s not a big deal, and pretty far off my radar at this point in the game, but a possibility.  Those are simply the “finishing touches” to consider over the next months.

We chatted about some other stuff, took some more pictures in the office, and then we were off! I’ll see him again in 3 months… Holy crap that’s spring!! And I’ll have been seeing him for over a year at that point. Just insane how time flies. Luckily I was able to schedule that appointment the same day I see my gyn-onc for my regular ovarian cancer screening appointment… After sooo many appointments and everything this year, I’m desperately trying to minimize my time away from work and “normal” life. But all in all, a great appointment and I left smiling, as usual!

So, in other news… I alluded to this last week but put off mentioning it more because it’s been complicated and frustrating and frankly I haven’t felt well enough to, but I promised myself I’d be totally honest when I started this blog so here goes… If you’ve been following long at all you know my VP shunt has basically been an unexpected curse since the day I started all the BRCA and mastectomy-related appointments after I turned 25. Between it apparently raising CA-125 levels, finding out from my breast MRI it went straight through my right breast tissue, and then it subsequently being “fractured” (as pretty much expected… and thus immediately fixed) during my mastectomy, you’d think I really shouldn’t be surprised it caused problems, yet again. Even with a seamless surgery experience and fantastic results.

But alas… Long story short, we’ve figured out, after I finally stopped stubbornly (or stupidly, in retrospect) denying something was wrong, an ER visit and accompanying hospital admit (with a Thanksgiving miracle – between both my amazing nurse and MY neurosurgeon being on call on the holiday they got us discharged in time to make it to dinner at Ruthie’s!), some meds, and finally an LP this morning, that the post-surgery swelling (in the unfortunate, yet necessary, overlap of location) has been messing with my shunt. CTs prove it’s all physically all connected correctly (thank goodness!!), it’s just been functioning differently than usual, causing the symptoms. Thankfully we got some answers with the procedure this morning, and that combined with the swelling from the surgery subsiding, I’m hopeful this will soon be a blur of a bump in the road and I’ll be feeling better every day. Also, for what it’s worth, all that radiation exposure in the past week? Made me grateful, yet again, I had this surgery. Take that, faulty BRCA genes!!!

So it’s been a bit of an unexpectedly bumpy recovery, but nothing we can’t handle, and I truly believe we’re now moving in the right direction – unfortunately, shunt symptoms are just something you can’t mess around with, given the potential ramifications that are too scary to even think about, let alone list. It sucks, but it’s just the reality. I’m continually grateful for the incredible people in my life who drop everything for me at a moments notice and who are understanding when plans get changed, my doctors and entire medical team, for being wonderful even when things don’t go exactly as we (and by that I mean control freak me) would like, and of course my parents for never leaving my side.

I love Christmas like a little kid and am so excited to spend the holiday season with family and friends, but I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that I’m very much so looking forward to the “light at the end of the tunnel” that is 2014. More on that soon, I’m sure. Until next time, stay safe and stay warm in this crazy weather (81* yesterday, below freezing today… Gotta love it!!)

Well, I wrote this yesterday and am glad I did – today was not so much the low key day I’d hoped for (“turning the corner” from yesterday was apparently unintentionally presumptuous), but it was still a day surrounded by the people I love, so that’s what matters. Can’t let this day pass without posting it, so without further ado…

I suppose it’s a cliche to write what I’m thankful for on Thanksgiving, but after this past year, how could I possibly not? It’s been quite the year indeed, but time and time again I’ve been reminded how incredibly lucky and blessed I am. I truly couldn’t have made it through the past year without the never-ending support of everyone around me, and today seems like the perfect day to acknowledge the amazing people in my life. Because, as Meredith Grey so wisely said years ago, “people are what matter.”

My Parents

What can I possibly say? Mom and Dad have won “Parents of the Year” over and over again. They have graciously let me crash with them after both surgeries, and have anticipated my every need. They’ve been there for doctor appointments, waited through surgeries, and have been my biggest supporters long before this BRCA stuff began. I will never take their love and support for granted, and truly cannot put into words how grateful I am for them. Simply stated, they are truly the best.

My Family

Even though we’re spread far across the country, I am so thankful for my entire family – they’ve been such huge supports throughout everything. My brother, cousins, uncles… They’re just awesome. And I’m especially grateful for my Aunt, who’s been my biggest inspiration throughout this entire BRCA journey. While ignorance could have been bliss, I’m so thankful she was tested for a BRCA mutation, and shared the knowledge so I could do something proactive about it. Having her here after my first surgery was such a blessing, and I am forever grateful for the sacrifices she, and everyone else, has made for me.

My Friends

Goodness I don’t even know where to start on this one. I hear horror stories of people losing friends when they make big decisions such as having prophylactic surgery, but I am so incredibly grateful that my friendships grew stronger, and that I gained new friends throughout the process. The morning of my mastectomy the nurses kept saying “you’re popular!” because I had so much support. I don’t know about that, but I sure am lucky. I know I’m setting myself up for failure by starting to name names, but this wouldn’t be complete without a special shoutout to the planners (instigators?) of my “Boob Voyage” – you are all incredible and sure know how to make a girl feel loved and embraced (even in a boob scarf! *cough* Nicole) going into surgery. Another to my roommate, for always being there and having my back (and front… I suppose that is more accurate this year). To Hayley, despite being far away you’ve been there, as always, and same with the Fab 5, even after all these years. To my goddaughters and their family, and their way of innocence and always making me smile. And of course, to Ruthie – you’ve never missed a beat and I am so grateful you have been there from the moment I told you about this crazy surgery idea last October to waking up from my last surgery. I am beyond grateful to have you all in my life and treasure our friendships and memories more than you will ever know!  Just a sampling of the awesome, for the sake of InstaFrame…

My Work Family

I realize how incredibly lucky I am to get up every morning and not only not dread going to work, but actually look forward to it. And that is simply because of the incredible people I get to work with, both on a daily basis and on a not-so-daily basis (shout out to my amazing ICU peeps!) All I asked for was understanding of why I would be out, and what I got back was support, tenfold. More than I could have ever imagined, they’ve embraced me, and my journey – my amazing bosses, my incredible coworkers, everyone. Grateful doesn’t even begin to describe that feeling, and the feeling of knowing you’re missed. I am so thankful for a job that I love and for the incredible relationships I’ve made as part of it – I can’t wait to be back.

My Medical Team (& Medical Technology)

This one’s tough – how do you possibly put into words how thankful you are for the people that have made it their job to be able to give you a new outlook on life? And that somehow have made the whole process of doing so an overwhelmingly positive experience? I am so grateful for my entire medical team – for my trifecta of amazing BRCA-related doctors, and those non-BRCA too (aka neurosurgeons involved in mastectomies!) For the nurses, genetic counselors, and everyone else that have been incredible every step of the way. I am so thankful for having a world-renowned medical center literally in my backyard, and truly couldn’t have asked for a better experience with all (and there have been many!) appointments, tests, and surgeries in the past year. I am beyond thankful that there is technology advanced enough so you can know your risk and options for people who are high-risk. And personally, for a swift recovery from two surgeries in four months, and insurance to cover them – Can’t believe I’m “on the other side,” but because of my amazing breast and plastic surgeons I am, and because of their incredible expertise and skill, you would never even know what this last year involved! Simply amazing.

The People Behind Facebook, “the Blogs,” and the Internet

It will probably never sound not-creepy to say “I was talking to this girl I met on Facebook…” but it really, really isn’t. The ability to connect with people across the world that are going through the same thing is really just amazing, and has been such a huge source of support. For the brave women who have shown me that this surgery is do-able, I am forever grateful. For the women that have gone before me and documented their journeys… I can’t begin to say what a help it was (and continues to be). I hope I’ve been able to “pay it forward” like Amy, Eryn, and so many others have done for me. And even though we’ve never met in person, to have “surgery sisters” on the same schedule as you are, is just freaking cool.

I’m simply grateful for technology, and its ability to connect people and organizations, such as Bright Pink. If you told me a year ago I would be traveling to Chicago with two girls I had never met before, I would have told you that’s crazy. And maybe it was, but it was a big highlight of the year. To be surrounded by people that “get it,” is just incredible. And I’m so grateful for the many new friends I’ve gained from our local chapter – never underestimate the unspoken bond of “BRCA Babes!”

And last, but not least, I’m thankful for you. For reading and supporting, for being on this journey with me. I found these incredibly perfect cards on Etsy after my first surgery, and connected with the incredible seller (check her out here!) so since I couldn’t send cards to the entire world, here’s my virtual “thank you” to all…

So perhaps (PERHAPS she emphasizes), in the interest of total honesty I MAY have slightly underestimated the recovery from this surgery. Those first couple days I sugar coated the “hit by a bus” feeling just a tad, but I really think I’ve turned the corner today. It’s still so funny to me that I think I’m so coherent after anesthesia/pain meds, and yet things are a giant blur now looking back. Thankfully, despite my blurry recollection, I tend to be pretty with it for the most part even if I don’t remember it later, but it is entertaining to go back and read what I’ve texted people 🙂

The bruising/soreness definitely did peak at 48-72 hours and now is turning a nice shade of green. The gummy bear implants are settling nicely, and the fat grafting looks fantastic. I’m certainly glad we went with the size that we did – they are smaller than the super-unnatural expanders, and have an amazingly normal appearance, just a little fuller than where we started. I know I’m judging prematurely as there’s still much more settling and “fluffing” to come, but so far I couldn’t be more pleased.

It’s still quite surreal to realize I’m done – these last 5 days have FLOWN by. I’ve done an impressive amount of sleeping. I forget how worn out you get in the first couple weeks after surgery, so needless to say I’m so glad to have had this time to just chill with my parents. I got out for the first time yesterday with Mom, and made it about an hour before needing a nap. We made a second trip out yesterday afternoon, and did some more shopping this morning. While I can feel my endurance improving, I’m still pretty tired. But overall, doing well!

My range of motion is really impressive, and from a chest standpoint I’m having to remind myself not to overdo it! Such an improvement compared to the first surgery!! Still some soreness on my thighs/flank but totally manageable. Until I try to roll over… Not quite ready for that yet! Even though I wouldn’t want to repeat those first couple days, I’m so relieved to be at this point just 5 days after. Such a huge relief!! Also so nice to think about recovering without another impending breast surgery. It’s like the opportunities are endless!! 🙂

Nothing life-shattering, again, but just wanted to get an update out there. Not a total breeze because of the fat grafting, but overall this surgery has been a zillion times easier than the mastectomy! And those rough few days are already a giant blur. And expanders already seem like such a long time ago already… Time is such a funny thing. Alright more on that later I’m sure… Now it’s time for another nap! Looking forward to a low-key yet wonderful Thanksgiving and a few more days of taking it easy!

Well, I certainly picked an excellent time to have this surgery… Strategically planned with Thanksgiving, and unintentionally with the first big temperature drop of the season! Thankfully the freezing precipitation has been less than forecasted – it was sounding ominous there for awhile! Regardless, I’m happily “hunkered down” inside recovering.

Saturday I was sore but able to rally without prescription pain medicine during the day. But that 24-48 hour peak of swelling and soreness was no joke, so I took it easy all day yesterday. I have my throne next to the fireplace and am happily snuggled up here watching Gilmore Girls with Mom. I obeyed the 72 hour no arm raising rule, but happily rallied this morning to get a shower and out of the leg/waist compression leggings for a bit. Some impressive bruising as expected, but everything looks really good! Now just letting the soreness subside and the bruising improve. I’m pretty puffy all over so looking forward to that going down and my stomach getting back to normal post anesthesia. I’m definitely on the upswing now – amazing how much a shower and clean clothes helps!

So I’m planning on chillaxing for the next couple days and taking it easy – wouldn’t be fun to go outside right now anyhow! Then hopefully I’ll be ready for Thanksgiving and some low-key plans the rest of the week, before going back to work the following week, of course with lifting limitations in place. Even with the soreness being different and more widespread, this recovery is still a thousand times better than the first surgery! Such a relief I can’t even begin to describe! Short and sweet update but all is well! Stay warm and safe out there!