As I sit here waiting for my CT scan I can’t help but reflect on how hard it is to believe surgery is just a week away. So much has gone into planning for all of this and now it’s 100% crunch time.
Last week someone told me I was handling all this much better than they anticipated. That I was much less neurotic than they expected. I’ll take that as a compliment! Really I had more nerves and a hard time sleeping before Pre-op than I do now! I suppose this feeling of calm comes from within when you know you’ve made the right decision. And that perhaps it will hit again in the next few days. But for now? I’m doing great.
Yesterday was a boobtastic day for sure! Had brunch with the lovely Amy… It’s been so invaluable to have her along in this journey. Hard to believe she’s coming up on her one year boobiversary already!! Her latest blog, a guest blog from her sister, really hit home too. She’s exactly right – I was given such a gift in being able to do something about all this before I get cancer.
Then yesterday afternoon an amazing friend came over and took some incredible pictures for me – it was something totally out of my comfort zone, but something I knew I would regret if I didn’t do it. You know, when I’m (knock on wood) a crazy old lady I’ll want to have them to look back on! So a huge thank you to Sarah – you are a beautiful person, inside and out, and there aren’t words for how grateful I am. It was a weird sense of relief after… Like now that the “before” has been documented, I am at peace with going forward.
** 2 hours later… **
Just saw my neurosurgeon, completing my 5 trips out here in a week!! Woot.
Shunt and CT look great which is awesome. He was so reassuring and made my day – he said “hopefully I won’t see you, but if you need me, I’m there!” And the best part was that he said even in a worse case scenario, even if they slice right through it, it can be repaired there and not have to go up to my head. I may have told my mom that my relative “coolness” with all of this has the potential to be absolutely lost if I wake up with my head shaved! Did that once already! So that was a relief. We had a good laugh about a neurosurgeon being involved in a mastectomy – that doesn’t happen every day!!
So yeah. This time next week I will be back here for the Pre-op marathon… But yay for a week “off” first! And even better before that… The Boob Voyage that promises to be nothing short of boobalicious! Aka I have the best friends a girl could ever ask for! No turning back now!