“It’s like a BRCA Christmas!”

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By far, my favorite quote of the day from the lovely Amy… So perfectly describes today – probably the biggest day for BRCA awareness in history!

If you live under a rock haven’t heard, or didn’t get a fabulous midnight text about it like I did, Angelina Jolie came out today that she is BRCA1 positive and recently had a prophylactic mastectomy… Exactly the procedure I’m having in 2.5 months.

It’s so exciting to see the media world literally EXPLODE with awareness! Mostly good… Some terrifyingly uninformed. But people out there are talking! I had so many people ask “that’s what you’re doing, right?!” and inquire about what their potential risk is.

Needless to say, I’m so proud of Angelina for the decision she made, and respect how eloquently she described so many of the feelings I can identify with exactly. I’m so glad the world has a glimpse into this BRCA world. Though I think she had an added benefit in waking up from surgery to Brad Pitt! :)

Anyhow, just wanted to document this huge day for hereditary breast and ovarian cancer awareness… Excited to see where it goes from here!

Good for the Soul

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First and foremost, Happy Mother’s Day to all! And especially my absolutely amazing Mom!

I just can’t stand having my last post the one that people see the first time they visit my blog. Because despite the inherent crappiness of this whole situation, it’s all been in an overwhelmingly positive light, and that’s how I want it to continue.

So much of the positivity is due to the people around me… I can’t reiterate how lucky I am. My brother and his girlfriend have been in town and I’ve had the blessing of being able to spend the whole long weekend with my whole immediate family together, and, as anticipated, it has been truly good for the soul. There’s just something about being around family that rejuvenates me. We’ve had fun all around town, and had an absolutely perfect Mother’s Day hanging around the pool… And I was crowned Domestic Diva! Haha. Dad and I did some epic baking.

On Saturday while the fam went to a museum, I went to my local
FORCE group meeting. I am so glad I took a leap of faith and went for the first time last November. I got to meet a few newly diagnosed women and it’s funny that I’m now one of ones with more experience in this crazy BRCA world. We watched the documentary “In the Family” which I watched way back when I first found out I was BRCA2+ but hadn’t seen since. I forgot it was such a tear jerker… But it was a great reminder of why I’m having this surgery. So I can look forward to many more weekends like this one. There is too much in life to look forward to! It’s so good to catch up with these ladies every couple of months… The “get it” factor is just so important!

Lastly I was literally left speechless this week. You all know I think highly if the Be Bright Pink foundation. Well I started a fundraising page to attend this year’s FabFest (more to come on that in the future… Suffice to say, SO excited) and had the money raised to attend the event in less than 12 hours. Again with how incredible my family and friends are. Like whoa. So thank you to all of you for being so supportive. You continue to amaze me daily.

Anyhow, a mostly non boob update for you! Coming up quick on the 80 day countdown mark. I’m starting Insanity on May 25 to seriously get my rear in shape for the surgery… Not being able to use chest muscles is daunting so gotta get this core ready to go! Kinda crazy to look at the calendar though… It’s a 9 week program and it will finish a week before my surgery. So not far away! Especially now that the “non-stop-ness” as I’ve dubbed it has officially begun! Another round of trips and a whole bunch of work busy-ness means time will be flying. Though I’m glad to hear other people agree that 2013 is a blur and it’s not just me!

Till next time… Have a great week!

Full Disclosure

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In the interest of full disclosure… brutal honesty right here.

Had myself convinced I wasn’t going to blog about this, but then came around when I remembered promising I would blog the good, the bad, the ugly. Well, the ugly came out of nowhere yesterday. I think the frustration of being SO ready for this surgery and having to wait + the 100 day mark and getting impatient just got to me… ugly cry style. In the bathroom. At work. Awesome. It was short-lived, and it’s definitely the realization that despite my best efforts to compartmentalize (while still processing) everything my thoughts have been consumed with this surgery. My whole life revolves around it right now… planning anything farther than a couple months in advance requires “where will I be…” thoughts. And I’m ready to have this past me. So, so ready. I’m ready to think about something else and stop feeling so selfish… to be able to concentrate on the people around me instead of myself. Everyone who knows me I’m 2 things: a planner and a do-er. It’s a running joke that I “get shit done.” Well… this is some serious shit. And I’m ready for it to be DONE.

For whatever reason, the change from April to May today has helped my outlook immensely… 3 months now. 3 months. And they’re very busy, which bodes well for distraction. I know it will all be here in no time, and I’m grateful for having the time to process, but I’m there… I’m ready. It’s like I’m in a good place now I want to take the bull by the horns already! But I shall wait and appreciate the timing… there’s way too much coming up that I would be even MORE upset if I missed… just need those things to get here and this awkward in-between to be over! It sounds crazy in a way that I’m “looking forward” to this… but it’s looking forward to that relief and being able to look back and see these few months as just a blip in history. That’s the goal at least.

Also… Must. Stop. Facebooking. Found that great group for under 30 previvors which has been very informative, and then joined the picture one. Bad. Life. Choice. Tonight, at least. The owner of the group sent me a message welcoming me and telling me not to get discouraged… well touche! That was a valid point. Really I try not to think of the possible complications… because there are many. And they make me physically nauseous. I’m choosing to believe in the power of positive thinking! Though I do keep reminding myself of Amy’s advice of making sure your expectations aren’t too high… this IS reconstruction after all! Have I mentioned how incredible it is to know someone that’s been through this? And that assures you that your random crying is, in fact, normal?! Because wow. There aren’t words.

Anyhow… this is just to document this point in my “journey”… it’s not all rainbows and butterflies. I’m not superwoman… I am very much human. And this is a ridiculously emotional process… something that rational, Type A, list-making me must learn to accept. But I’m good now… promise (really, Mom!) Like I said, May has a breath of fresh air to it. I’m looking forward to some excellent quality time coming up with my family and closest friends… will be good for the soul! That is all…